So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
this hospital has no fireball
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
