This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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