she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
