come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
