Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
