Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
