the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
