Swine flu. Run for my life!
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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