jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
