you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize