hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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