How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
