i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
