I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
