All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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