He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Randomize
