We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
