Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
