I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
