Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
