There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
