K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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