So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
