So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize