I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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