I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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