What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
