i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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