please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
