I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
