I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize