My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
