it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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