U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
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