Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Be still, my beating vagina.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
