im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
