The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
