Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
