You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
