is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize