this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
