some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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