shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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