After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
