I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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