how can u be prego again
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
