What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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