She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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