You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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