Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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