as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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