Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
