I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
