I didn't shave. On purpose
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
