Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i will never coherently bang her
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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