Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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