a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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