even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
