Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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