what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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