my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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