omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
